Who knew amongst us knew or even suspected that Napoleon Bonaparte, France’s favourite dictator and Francois Hollande, France’s greatest President and lover since, well, Nicolas Sarkozy, had a common bond in owning Africa’s iconic beast of burden?
They also share a penchant for indulging in exotic wars of distraction in North Africa, which is a damnably expensive way of acquiring a camel.
But whilst Napoleon remembered to take his back home with him as a souvenir for the Paris Zoo. Hollande did not, a curious omission. The reason for his not doing so may never be known. Perhaps though, there is a clue in the fact that it was Britain who provided much needed heavy logistical support for the French intervention in Mali, in the form of two of its Boeing C17 Globemasters. It is perhaps a symbol of its relative decline that, in 1797 France, in the teeth of fierce opposition from Nelson, was able to transport an army of 40,000 men to Egypt and to return home with at least one camel, and that just over 200 years later it was reduced to seeking British help to move 1,000 men to North Africa. Of course it was in Egypt that Europe’s then greatest General, supposedly, commenced his unfortunate habit, some would even say his addiction, to mislaying his armies.
“We are keen to continue to provide further assistance where we can and depending on what French requirements there may be.” Cameron’s spokesman is reported said.
However, if you were the proudly proprietorial Load Master of a brand new £200 million RAF Globemaster, would you want your lovingly maintained aircraft be-fouled by the prodigious amounts of dung and cud produced by a Frenchman’s camel, whether or not he’s their President?
If a requirement was advised to you as the Load Master that the said dromedary was to be placed into your care and control for rendition to Paris, would you not perhaps consider making alternative arrangements for it down at the local camel souk, it being the equivalent of a Roumanian Tesco burger processing plant in that part of the world?
And could it then be that this is the real reason why Hollande is saying Non to David Cameron as he attempts to re-negotiate Britain’s terms of membership in the EU?
Unfortunately we will probably never know for sure.
The way to tell.
The dromedary has one hump, like capital D.
The Bactrian camel has two humps, like capital B.